Riding your bike naked, I mean.  I suppose if you get one of those extra-wide seats it wouldn’t bee too bad.  But really, why would you want to?  Well….I guess some people want to.  Apparently they do it in Portland all the time.

Up to 1200 nude bike riders join in the local annual world naked bike ride that last occurred on June, 14, 2008.

Note to self:  Don’t go to Portland in June.  And also don’t ride the bus in Portland, ever.  Apparently one is allowed to do that naked also.  You can see the whole AP piece here.

Clothes were invented for a reason, people!  Nobody wants to see all your private bits while trying to get to work.

I know, I know…repressed conservative and all that.  But really, if we’re being honest mostly the people that do this should really keep their clothes on.  If nude beaches are any example, that is…

Right?

No, it wasn’t some gross guy or some ogling old man (although they are there, but not in nearly the volume as they were in my old gym).

Anyway…there I was…on my fourth mile on the elliptical stairs…and I glance up to the silent T.V. wall in front of me…and see the following subtitle underneath a picture of a woman talking about something:

Had Bird Poop Facial

First of all, there’s no way in hell I’d ever have a bird poop facial. Also, if for some reason I ever felt the need to have one, I certainly wouldn’t admit it on national T.V.! Not even CNN, which is watched less than most cable news channels.

So is it just me, or is the whole having a bird poop facial and then talking about it on national T.V. a really weird deal?

P.S. If you’re interested, you can read all about the nasty bird poop treatment here. Ewwwwwww!

It’s hard enough to find someone these days.  Even harder sometimes if you’ve been adopted, apparently….

Twins separated at birth have married each other without realizing they were brother and sister, it has been revealed.

You can see the story here.  Of course, the court has annulled the marriage.  How sad….

Lesson #1: If you’re gonna go dumpster diving in your next door neighbor’s trash can, make sure to do it before other neighbors return from taking their kids to school.

When I got home from taking The Boy to school today, my “nosy neighbor” (you probably have one…the neighbor that lets you know your sprinklers are on too long or your outside light was on all night) was removing an old sprinkler and a hose from one of our other neighbor’s trash cans.

Seriously, who does that? It’s not as if she and her family are in the poor house – we do live in a respectable neighborhood. Here’s the really weird part….as I left to head to school with The Boy, her youngest boy was out on their driveway looking toward the dumpster of interest. What, did she dispatch him to do recon before she headed out to do the deed? The whole thing was just creepy.

I guess I should be careful about what I put in MY dumpster…who knows when she’ll get around to mine….or if she already has. Well, we do provide a nice collection of wine bottles from South America….

Some guy in London lit a firecracker he had put in his bum. I”m not kidding. Here’s the link. See?

A 22-year-old man suffered internal injuries after lighting a small firecracker he had inserted into his buttocks, paramedics said Thursday.

I have to think he was drunk. He HAD to be drunk, right? Please tell me he was drunk. Oh, here’s the topper:

The Times newspaper reported the man is a soldier who recently returned from Iraq.

I’ve heard of PTSD making people do a lot of really weird things. But this? This is just weird…and dangerous.

Wow. A 15 year-old kid stole a bus in Orlando and drove a transit route, picking up and dropping off passengers just like any other bus driver would.

“I drove that bus better than most of the LYNX drivers could….There isn’t a scratch on it. I know how to start it, drive it, lower it, raise it.”

Apparently, the kid has done this previously with a tour bus. What would you do if you got on a bus and saw an obviously too young to drive kid behind the wheel, but he was doing quite a nice job of driving it? Would you call 911? I’m not sure, but I think I probably would….after he dropped me off at my stop .

Okay, all I can say is I’m very sad for the victim in this case – and of course their family..but…ewwwww:

A speeding car driven by a naked woman high on drugs hit and killed a pedestrian in the New York City borough of Staten Island

For God’s sake, put some clothes on before you get in the car. I can’t believe she wasn’t also charged with indecency, or something…whatever the law is for being disrobed in a public place.

Maybe the air from the vent distracted her while she was driving…without clothes…in a public place. Ewww.

But I think I’d much rather either be fat or eat less and exersize than let some weird deal Brazilian dude perform liposuction on me in his basement.

Well, in Chihuaua, Mexico they’re doing just that. It seems new parents excited to help their kids stand out with unique names or uniquely spelled names are being brought under control by that Mexican state.

The rules dictate that if parents must name their child a foreign-sounding name, then it has to be followed by a Spanish middle name, like Maria…..Parents who dare to be different by tricking up the spelling of a name better think twice — only “common spellings” are going to fly.

I’ve never been happy with the way my parents pronounced my name. I’ve spent the better part of 40 years correcting each and every person I meet when it comes to how they should say my name. But that’s what parents get to do when they have a kid. They get to name it. No matter how silly the name is. Well, I guess it’s that way if you don’t live in Chihuahua.

At least I can say my name is not Apple or some other fruit or some weird deal trendy “meaningful” new-age name.

And no, I’m not going to say what my name is. It’s Peaches. That’s all you need to know.

And then there’s REALLY unsafe driving. I mean really, the guy could have put the thing in a cooler on the floor or something to avoid extra injuries to others. Geez….