Help! This house is full of sick people! And not just one type of sick – there are two.
The spouse has some type of bad sinus deal going on. Bad enough so he can’t fly. So he has called in sick and will continue to be sick here, in the house instead of there – in the plane and in South America. Can’t say I blame him really. He is a good patient though..he just wants to be left the hell alone. I do this most of the time, except the multiple times I make him take his temperature to see if there is some type of infection involved or maybe the flu, and when I make him eat (because he really doesn’t want to eat).

My other patient…my poor other patient….has been whining about how he wants to stay home “sick” from school all year. And now he has his wish….he has not been able to keep a damn thing down since about 2:00 a.m. We have tried flat sprite, ice chips, dry toast, green tea, sips of water…..nothing works. I think all parents out there can agree that the only thing worse than us being sick is a child being sick. When it is an illness like this, there is really nothing you can do except hold their hand, keep trying different things to see what will stick, and wait the thing out.

So here I sit…in a house with multiple illnesses…taking care of those that do and do not want to be taken care of…while I stare out the window looking at the beautiful mid-80’s sunny day wishing we were all well and could enjoy it.

Oh well….back to taking care of the ill ones and washing my hands every other minute and hoping I don’t get one or both of the bugs which have infested their systems.

But I’m not so sure I would sell my DNA…at any price. How creepy would it be to know you had a dozen kids running around somewhere?

On the other hand….this was not an option when I went to college (shut up, I’m not THAT old) so I didn’t ever have the choice.

I think I’ve mentioned here once or twice before about how I HATE telemarketers or unsolicited front door sales calls.

True, people need to make a buck and I can’t say I blame them for having to take an awful job like that…doesn’t mean I have to listen to them or talk to them.

This type of “sales” treatment has now bled over to what I call the “consumer-initiated sale”. This is a sale of a good or a service where the consumer makes contact with the seller and attempts to make a purchase…not because they were “sold” to or convinced in any immediate way…it’s the case where a person needs a good or service and so they either call to order or go out and buy it at a storefront.

Okay, so here are my gripes with a new trend in how consumers are treated when they initiate the sale – in a list (of course):

1. When I am at the register at Walgreen’s, I do NOT want to contribute to this cause or that. I am not there to give to charity – I am there to get friggin’ cough medicine so I can go home and take care of my cold!

2. I hate it when I try and pick up an item really quick at the Tom Thumb down the street and I am asked if I would like to get a store card, if I would like to enter in a raffle, or if I would like to contribute to a charity. A – if I wanted a store card I would sign up for one; I don’t need to be harassed for not having one just to buy a loaf of bread; B – I don’t know anything about the business running the raffle, nor do I want the prize, so STOP ASKING!!; and C – no, I do not want to give a dollar to charity.

Now, you might consider me uncharitable; I am not. We give all of our old stuff to Christian Community Action and I am willing to contribute to charities which use over 95% of their funds for the people they’re trying to help; not ones with 80% administrative costs that like to market at the grocery store or pharmacy.

3. When ordering a pizza, I am willing to order some wings or whatever, but the person on the other end of the line now insists on listing the ENTIRE MENU of other choices before they will give me a total. I do NOT need you to list the entire side item and drink menu to me before completing the order.

4. When I take my car in for a simple oil change, and then before they start work they try to sell me a laundry list of “manufacturer recommended” maintenance services. NO, I do NOT want a transmission service, an electrical check, etc., etc….just change my friggin’ oil so I can get out of here!

5. No, I do NOT want to super-size. A regular Big Mac meal is enough.

Seriously, when did everyone decide to turn their sales people into charity workers and live telemarketers, trying to pressure-sell a contribution at the register or make us listen to a hard-sell for something we have no interest in buying? Asking if I want “anything else” is acceptable; listing every item available for sale and wasting my time is not.

This is why I buy my stuff online whenever possible…..whether they drive the sale or we do, ultimately we will be exposed to requests for donations and telemarketed to in person whenever we attempt to purchase a good or service. It is the new awful trend in live sales…and I hate it.

did JoAnn Fabric become more of a scrapbook and craft warehouse than a fabric store? Fabrics? What fabrics? Thread? Needles? Buttons?

They still have those items, but they are hidden way in the back of the store behind the cutting counter (what there is left of a cutting counter).

I went there today because it was closer than Hancock Fabrics and I didn’t want to even drive near Wal-Mart – thinking it would be a quick thing to go in, grab some buttons and thread and maybe a needle and leave.

Oh, no…what used to be a low-cost fabric store has now turned the front of the place into a scrapbooker’s and craft crazy person’s dream. Not only the front of the store…damn near 2/3 of the place now belongs to those crazy craft people that I have absolutely NOTHING in common with (note: if you are into crafting I’m sure you’re a perfectly lovely person; I just don’t think we’d have much to talk about other than this post maybe).

I had to ask three people, and finally I found some black buttons, thread and needles (this after being told I couldn’t purchase the thread I originally wanted because there was a sewing machine store-within-a-store that sold the thread I picked; the lady there wanted all my personal information just to sell me the damn thread and then she wouldn’t ring up the buttons or needles – I practically threw the thread at her, told her I didn’t want to be in her marketing database, and ran away to find “other” thread I could buy at the front of the store).

All this time and effort and fending off being put into a marketing database just to get a few damn buttons, thread and needles.

Never again, people. Never AGAIN will I walk into a JoAnn Fabric store in search of anything. Hell, I’d rather go to Wal-Mart.

Well this woman has. After reading the article, I am left wondering….why did she put the diaper on and allow herself to be spanked….unless she saw an opportunity to sue after the fact?

I mean, really…would you have put the diaper on and let them spank you? Never mind…don’t answer that.

I know many of you don’t know what it’s like to be an Air Force spouse or what it’s like to live in military towns in general.

So after watching not less than five Applebee’s commercials tonight, I felt I must share with you why Tommy and I no longer even contemplate the thought of getting anywhere close to that place. Oh..I know, I know…they’ve changed their menu quite a bit over the last 15 years (or so), some of the locations have changed hands, etc., etc..

But the fact remains….military towns are not located in the best of areas, for the most part. My brother is a Lt. Colonel in the army, and he told me not to stay at the local hotel for safety reasons…this is just an example.

Another side-effect (besides safety issues in town) of living by a military installation is usually there are VERY few choices for eating out. Let me explain…you have the hole-in-the-wall grease pits that cater to the pilots just near the base (or grunts – whatever the case may be), many fast food joints, or probably like one sports bar eating establishment in the general vicinity of the base.

In our case…we only had this place called Legacies in Sumter, SC. Let me paint a picture for you…the decor was great (except for the grease literally running down the baby blue paint on the walls). Whatever you ordered HAD to have at least 3,500 calories of grease and fat included…and you could only get what we considered to be “near beer” (3.2 alcohol content).

But on a weeknight when there was an exercise scheduled all weekend…that was truly the only choice within driving distance. So we pre-drank “real beer” purchased on base, drove to Legacies, ate our grease (we were in our 20’s so we remained blissfully thin), and sipped our “near beer” until we were done with the meal and the townies came in later for their shag dancing or whatever.

And then…..we were so excited…APPLEBEE’S began to build a restaurant about 1/2 mile from Legacies. Yes!! A familiar chain we knew!! What could be better?

Well…..after eating thre at least once a week for over six months…you know what was better? Driving over an hour to Columbia to eat at California Dreamin’ (they had a liquor license and you could actually get a mixed drink there), or Julie’s Steakhouse or Yesterdays for a home cooked type meal (long story about Yesterday’s which I wont’ share).

Yes, after several months of eating at Applebee’s…staring at the same burgers and chicken fettuccini….I can no longer even stomach even the thought of the place. Just smelling it as I drive by makes my stomach queasy.

Yes, there CAN be too much of a good thing.

That is all.

UPDATE!!

The spouse informs me that Applebee’s was there first, not Legacies, but we were so sick of Applebee’s that we tried Legacies and it was just as bad with the grease and the calories and the near-beer as I said. At the end of the day….the point is that Applebee’s does NOT hold a place in my heart. I don’t care if I don’t remember it correctly…the point is still the same.

So there!

Again…that is all.

I’m only doing this because Paula tagged me. And now I will be outed as a Parrot-Head. Oh, well…

Pick a an band artist and answer the following questions only with titles of their his songs.

1. Are you male or female? Mademoiselle (Voulez-Vous Danser)

2. Describe yourself: Flesh and Bone

3. How do some people feel about you? I Don’t Know and I Don’t Care

4. How do you feel about yourself? Just an Old Truth Teller

5. Describe your ex boyfriend/girlfriend: Hey Good Lookin’

6. Describe your current significant other: I Have Found Me a Home

7. Describe where you want to be: Margaritaville

8. Describe how you live: Happily Ever After (Now and Then)

9. Describe how you love: Bend a Little

10. What would you ask for if you had just one wish? Cheeseburger in Paradise

11. Share a few words of wisdom: What if the Hokey-Pokey is All it Really is About?

12. Now say goodbye: Savannah Fare You Well

I refuse to tag anyone with this because it takes too long.

I can summarize most of the show in one word:

BORING!!

Not bad, just boring. The two bright spots were Elliot and Chris. Damn those boys can sing.

Side notes:

1. I think hope Kelly’s history.

2. Personally I think Taylor should have chosen “Try a Little Tenderness” – Otis Redding version. Things would have gone much better for him if he had.

That is all.

Before today, I had never made a pot roast the good old-fashioned in the dutch oven way. All of our roasts were either smoked in the smoker outside, or slow cooked in a crock pot (in our newly married days before we could afford steak).

Anyway, The Boy’s been eating that new Chunky Pot Roast soup, and has been asking me to make a “real” pot roast for weeks.

After my lovely (ah-hem) lunch today, I looked through some things on Food Network’s site for ingredients and off I went to the store to find me a roast to make. I found one…it even said “Pot Roast” right on the label so I knew I had the right one.

So as I was going over the recipe upon my return, I suddenly realized…it takes TOO DAMN LONG to cook pot roast. I barely had time to brown the thing, get the onions and garlic and celery chopped and the bay leaf out and the roast in the oven before I had to pick up The Boy.

After we got back, it was time for carrots, then a while later potatoes, then a while later – gravy.

I promise you, it was WORTH IT!! Yummy pot roast and delicious (although a bit runny) gravy. Not bad for my first attempt at “real” pot roast, I must say. Sorry, no pics…it smelled too yummy and I didn’t want to waste time trying to get the camera out.

Recipe’s in the extended post; if you don’t know what you’re doing, this is a good starting recipe for pot roast. Follow it exactly and your kitchen will be a mess, but your tummy will be happy.

P.S. Use the good stuff when you add the wine.

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actually bother to get dressed (in clothes other than sweats), put makeup on, do your hair, even put jewelry on, for God’s sake….

And go out to meet a friend whom you haven’t seen for a while for lunch at a new place, order what sounds like a delightful light soup and salad combo….

And sit there the whole time, watching the other person eat a scrumptious looking chicken pesto panini with basil mayonnaise dressing and roasted red peppers and kettle chips….

While you try to make your way through soup that now tastes like simple luke-warm (not even hot) water and chicken salad that now tastes like play-dough at best on what seems like sandpaper bread in comparison to that elusive chicken pesto panini on the lovely toasted bread with the basil dressing and delicious roasted red peppers with kettle chips being eaten by your friend on the other side of the table…

And wonder how you can tactfully ask for her last bite so you can at least leave the place with a good taste in your mouth?

Yeah, me too.

Lunch sucked (not the company or the conversation, just the food).

That is all.