I wonder if the hundreds of millions proposed in the new stimulus package for family planning include measures to help pay for fertility treatments? I mean, aren’t those treatments meant to help plan for new family members?  And wouldn’t funding for those treatments put WAY more dollars into the economy WAY sooner since the procedures are so expensive?

Sadly, I think their definition of “family planning” might be a little different from those that have such a hard time conceiving.  I’m still trying to get a handle on the code phrases so I can understand what they REALLY are planning to spend my tax money on.

UPDATE:  SOUNDS LIKE OBAMA HAS CALLED CONGRESS AND ASKED THEM TO TAKE THIS ITEM OUT OF THE STIMULUS PACKAGE.  I NEVER SAID HE WAS A STUPID GUY.  CLEARLY, HE IS SMARTER THAN PELOSI AND REID COMBINED.

Here are a couple ideas:

1.  If you’re going broke because you have more spending commitments than you have money in your coffers, how about requiring illegal aliens to pay out of state tuition to attend state-run colleges just like anyone else who does not qualify as a legal resident of Californa?

2.  How about lowering taxes so you can gain more business tax revenues when businesses can again afford to have headquarters, hire new workers and build things in your state?  Lower taxes actually bring in more revenues from businesses, large and small….but then you can find that out for yourself by looking at the results of past tax hikes and reductions.

Just a couple friendly suggestions.  From me to you.

Yes, you two…the ones at the back of the stair area.  A few things:

1.  Nobody needs to see your boobs through those white workout bras.  I mean, there aren’t even any attractive men that work out mid-morning in that area that would care to look.  Yuck.

2.  Why work out at all if you’re barely going to be walking up those moving stairs?

3.  I know, I know….you have to save your energy for ALL THAT DAMN TALKING YOU’RE DOING.

4.  Hey, I know…if you’re going with a friend it’s nice to be able to chat about this or that.

5.  BUT DO YOU HAVE TO TURN YOUR IPODS UP FULL BLAST AND THEN YELL OVER THEM TO HEAR EACH OTHER TALK?

6.  REALLY?

7.  Seriously, who does that?

8.  I mean, who does that who actually cares about whether or not they’re impeding someone else’s workout with their incessant, mundane, not funny chatter and grotesque cackling laughs?

9.  Oh yeah, that’s right.  I forgot.  You two.  Do that.  Every morning.

p.s.  Thanks for using the tallest stair machines in the place to give you that podium effect, thus ensuring the maximum number of serious gym rats get to hear EVERY WORD YOU HAVE TO SAY.

That is all.

In a list, of course…

1.  Congrats to President Obama.  He is our duly elected leader, and I respect what he did, what it means for how far our nation has come, and I respect his office.

2.  You will NEVER hear me say, “He’s not MY President.”  Because I have always thought that’s just not a good thing to say.  But maybe some people feel differently about the presidency and how we should show the world the office should be viewed.

3.  Instead, you will find me to be a member of the loyal opposition.  I will not agree with every decision he makes as president, but my respect for the office and his position will remain intact.

4.  Why is it that those on the left feel totally comfortable making demeaning, personal attacks on conservative leaders and we’re all just supposed to go along with it and laugh with the rest of them, but when you make a small quip about the ridiculous “Office of the President” thing they don’t want to hear it?  I mean, that’s not even a personal attack, it’s just a comment on how ridiculous that seal and daily press briefings were over the past weeks.  Geez….

5.  Why is it okay for a democratic appointee to have illegal immigrants working for him, but it wasn’t okay for the two cabinet-level peeps on Bush’s team?  As soon as it was found, they were gone.  Because that’s what you do.

6.  But apparently that and not paying taxes will be overlooked in an effort to “change” how politics are done.

7.  Richardson had it right and I respect his decision as he put the good of the country first and removed the drama of his charges from the equation.

8.  I read parts of the speech today on the TV screen at the gym while working out…seemed like an okay speech, if a little long.

9.  I admire how Bush has handled the transition, and I am sure he will return a clean, well-stocked jet to Washington (unlike others who will remain nameless).

10.  I am really hoping other members of the loyal opposition will continue to exhibit self-control and only speak to decisions and the consequences that may (or do) result from them and we do NOT hear the high levels of vitriol and hatred we heard from the left for the past years.  That stuff gets old.

11.  I am encouraged by most of Obama’s appointments, and I hope he continues to be smart about taxes.

12.  I hope that he is as smart about people as he is book-smart; book-smarts can be taught, people-smarts cannot.  Either you have them or you don’t.

13.  Simple words of advice for him in operating in the global arena – trust by verify EVERYTHING people say and promise.

See?  Not so bad.  I’m not bitter.  Just waiting to see what happens and a little miffed some on the left can’t see a little humor in some things that truly are a bit over the top – even for him.

My younger sister is coming for a visit this weekend!!  She will be sans kids and so will I…for part of it.  The Boy is at a debate tournament and will not return until 2:00 a.m. on Sunday morning.  So…of course I decided I needed brows done and a haircut because there might be pictures in the hot tub.

The haircut is in the middle of the day tomorrow.  NOT good for cleaning, which I want to do before she gets here so I can relax with her…sans kids….with husband in the man room upstairs minding his own business while playing War Craft and watching hockey.

So anyway….in an effort to:

a.  Not worry about the boy who left today at noon for the tournament and isn’t the best at communication.

b.  Get everything done so maybe I can actually have (sort of) a day off tomorrow….during which I will only have to go to the hair dresser, the liquor store and the grocery store…

I…..

a.  Did 50 min. of cardio.

b.  Got gas.

c.  Checked The Boy’s grades on finals like every hour until I found that he got A’s on all his finals and got A’s for the entire semester in all classes (good job).

d.  Made steak, potatoes, peppers and onions with leftovers for lunch (it was SO good).

e.  Cleaned the entire house plus all the “high dusting” which entails taping an extended swiffer to a pole (we have REALLY high ceilings with ceiling fans and lights).

f.  Changed out the litter box tray.

g.  Did laundry (well if I’m being honest the fourth load is in the washer and it’s 12:27 so I will wait and put it in the dryer, then go to bed…then fold it in the morning).

h.  Oh…yeah…somewhere in there there spouse bought me dinner and I took a shower.

i.  Drank four drinks and had some postachios.  Yummy.

So….

Because I did all that TODAY….tomorrow….I GET TO SLEEP LATE AND NOT WORK OUT!!! (but if I’m being honest I’ll prolly at least do some Pilates).

I’m so excited!!  Sleeping late, no getting up to take The Boy to school, and after lunch the liquor store and the visit with my hairdresser.  Later, I will get minimal groceries for to make snacks to have with the liquor.  Good thing we have restaurants within walking distance because there will be drinking……

Um….guess I should do a couple more things.  Like maybe drink some water and take Advil.  Right?

P.S.  Some time this evening I checked email and my sister wrote me, “STOP cleaning.  I really don’t care.  But I guess that’s like telling a cat to stop licking its butt.”  She knows me so well…..

Because really, at this point what else can I do?  I am a conservative in exile, after all……

“Dude, you really oughta pay those back taxes.”

“Back taxes?  I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Oh man, I can’t believe we pulled that off.”

“Sir, I told you we could do that.  No way they can find out about those back taxes now!”

“Um….uh….I suppose…..I mean…..ya know…..I mean he should have……don’t you think…um…..uh…..”

“I know, Caroline.  I know.  It’s okay.  The media’s been with me so far.  Don’t worry, they won’t let us down now.”

“What?  I don’t know what you’re talking about.  I never promised a $3,000.00 tax credit to small business for each  new employee hired.  Now get out of the way.  I got pictures to take.”

“What?  Obama wants the rest of the funds with no strings attached?  I don’t think so.  We need to bail out “disenfranchised” poor people who took out loans they knew there was no WAY they could ever pay back.  All they have to do is keep not making payments.  We’ll take care of keeping them in their houses.  No worries.  To each according to his need and all that….”

“Dude, you are so screwed.  I’m outta here.  Come see me at the ranch some time.  I’ll be glad to show you how green we are down in Texas.”

“Yeah, George. I feel ya.  Hey, does anyone have a smoke around here?”

“Oh, man….it’s gonna be a LONG first four.”

And if I’m being honest…finishing the last half of a nice bottle of red…..I found the following stories…um…”interesting”….

An 82-year-old man who slipped and fell in the bathtub of his Salt Lake City home says he was trapped there for five days.

Ummm……I wouldn’t say if you’re old don’t take a bath without supervision, but dayammmmmm.

An outbreak of salmonella food poisoning has made 388 people sick across 42 states…

Word to the wise…WASH YOUR FOOD AND COOK IT THOROUGHLY, PEOPLE!  We can’t trust suppliers to observe proper hygiene and handling.  Get with the program!

Things were so bad last year that a single Toyota model, the Camry/Solara midsize car, outsold the entire fleet of Chrysler LLC’s passenger cars.

Still think big company bailouts are a good idea?  I’m hoping you don’t….

A New York doctor who gave his wife a kidney is suing her for $1.5 million — or the return of the vital organ — after he says she cheated on him with a physical therapist.

Bad form, both of you.  To the wife – did you really have to cheat on the guy that saved your live?  To the husband – the money will not get you that kidney back.  Drop it and move on.

A federal judge ordered an Alabama sheriff locked up in his own jail Wednesday after holding him in contempt for failing to adequately feed inmates….

Dude, ya gotta feed the prisoners.  Or pay the price, it seems…

A man who claimed to have a bomb aboard a Los Angeles-bound jetliner and was then tackled and bound by other passengers….

You GO, “other passengers”.  I don’t care if he was found innocent, the very threat warranted decisive action.

Adult entertainment industry wants a bailout.

Really?  I’m hoping things don’t get down to that level, but who knows with who’s in charge of Congress now….

The U.S. Army apologized Wednesday for sending 7,000 letters to family members of soldiers killed in Iraq and Afghanistan — and addressing the letters to “John Doe.”

Some contractors don’t have the best quality control, even those that handle such sensitive tasks.  Bad form, contractor that worked on those letters!

If your fare drops within 24 hours, your airline might refund the difference.

It pays to be anal about recent airline purchases!

Mexico Fights Disgarded Gum Problem By Telling People to Swallow it.

Ummm…didn’t our mothers always tell us to NEVER do this?  Do you still do it?

The wine is gone and I’m off to bed.  G’night.

SO sad.  It’s never easy to lose a child.

Oh, B-Man.  Ya got caught.  Giving away shares as “Christmas” or “Holiday” gifts will not get you out of this one.  Oh well…the only good thing about this is some far-left Hollywood types will now have less to give to political campaigns.

A few things:

a.  I am duly impressed the scandal was supressed until Obama was elected.  Kudos to those operatives that made that happen.  I gotta take my hat off to them.

b.  Guilty?  Yes.  Does Fitzgerald have enough to prove it?  My feeling is that if he did he would not have asked for an extension.

c.  Will he be impeached?  Yes.  Does the evidence support it?  Depends on what the government lets them use.

d.  He reminds me of some low-level mafia guy trying to make his mark and get noticed.

e.  Did ya see the SNL skit on him?  Hilarious!

f.  Personally, I think this guy has the biggest ego on the planet.  Hubris walking.  Also, he is an a-hole.

g.  When I called my cousin the day of the Fitzgerald press conference…..she was HORRIFIED!  I have to say I would have had the same reaction.  Poor kid.  I feel for her living in that state – the motherland of political corruption.

Speaking of corruption….

Why is it that every single politician out there is corrupt on some level, but there seems to be a cloud of corruption surrounding this appointment and the following appointment.  What gives?  We had previously the Jefferson freezer corruption money….do democrats just not know how not to get caught?  I won’t even mention Travelgate and Whitewater and the Blue Dress…because what’s the point?  People either don’t know or don’t care, given the early numbers from the latest election.

To say Burris’ little visit to the Senate today was grandstanding would be an understatement.  I mean…he didn’t even have all the proper signatures on his paperwork!  But still…Bobo has not been convicted, impeached, or removed.  Currently, it’s his right and responsibility to approve whomever he chooses.  Personally, I think Bobo’s advisers told him to appoint the one guy he did NOT have conversations with ANYONE about getting paid in some way for the appointment.

Really?  Is Minnesota THAT pissed at Bush?  Or (more likely) are Democrat election officials picking and choosing which votes to count and just don’t care who sees what they’re doing?  Given recent events, my guess is the latter…but that’s for the courts to decide since it’s now been screwed up beyond belief by partisans.

Um….yeah….well….I think that…..what I meant was…….uh……..well……you get the idea.  I don’t care how educated you are.  If you can’t speak you shouldn’t get the job.  No matter how important your dad and uncles were and are to the country.  You just don’t have it, babe.  Charity work?  Definitely your wheel house.  Stick with what you know and stop trying to cash in on your family name.

Please, please, PLEASE don’t send checks out to people who will only use the money to pay off the debt they so carelessly racked up and have not paid.  The money will NOT stimulate the economy, but will only serve to reward people for irresponsible behavior.  Also, I approve of most of your appointments so far.  Don’t screw it up.  Don’t deficit spend us into another great depression.  NO MORE BILLIONS OF STIMULUS PACKAGES.  Just let the economy work like it’s supposed to and stop bailing out businesses with poor plans.  Bad business models are SUPPOSED to fail.

Last but not least:

I don’t care who you are.  If someone fires rockets each and every day at your people, including schools, homes, military targets, etc……ya gotta defend yourself!  Oh, I know…the U.N. (THE most corrupt organization on the face of the earth) will say Israel should show restraint and discount the countless, daily rocket attacks by Hamas on Israel DURING AN AGREED UPON CEASEFIRE….but at what point do we decide as a world that it’s not okay to commit terrorist attacks on a daily basis, and it’s not okay for countries like Iran to bankroll the attacks?  COME ON!  The world needs to step up or all will be lost.

That is all.