Do You Go "All In" When You Work?I traded emails today with my dad, who thinks I should be working given that I do have a particular skill set and can actually write. I've talked about why I don't work in a previous post.
The exchange today got me thinking again about why I don't work and what it was like when I did work. There are various reasons why I don't work, foremost among them being transportation and activity issues with The Boy.
Another BIG reason why I don't work is because when I do work - I GO ALL IN. By all in, I mean getting up at 5:30, being to work by 7:30, working all day long (lunch at my desk), driving home to eat dinner...and then immediately after dinner getting straight back to work. Tommy would often ask me why I even bothered coming home for dinner if all I was going to do was work.
In addition, many, many, many planned family trips were canceled because of my work. Whether it be pulling together kit components and videos for four simultaneous new product launches or helping to prepare the quarterly financial news release....in my world family time took a back seat to work...always...no exceptions. And I traveled for work as well, with trade shows and media tours with the CEO. The CEO even called me at home when I was taking a couple of days off with my sister as she was down for a visit..some PR crisis or another, I can't remember.
When I worked, I was always the busiest person..and always the person they would give extra work to because they knew I would get it done. I always envied (okay, hated) those people that actually took their vacations - weeks at a time - while I remained behind and picked up the slack. At my last job, I was the ONLY one in the company who knew anything about public relations, so I managed three agencies (one of them in London), wrote most of the news releases, and approved all third party PR including our company name. It was a heavy burden that I resented at times...and I guess I can understand if Tommy did too.
However, I can't say that the company was totally to blame. I liked to have control over my work, and that meant that I just took care of what needed to be taken care of rather than considering help from elsewhere. If it got to be too much even for me, I would sit down with the CEO and we would work out priorities...he was a really good CEO. Unfortunately, my direct boss was more interested in taking long lunches, skipping out on scheduled press interviews, and refusing to provide needed approvals, if I'm being honest.
Yes...I could have taken those family trips and been gone for extended periods...but the work would have suffered, and I was all about leaving no loose ends and doing the best possible job. Even after the company was sold and I could have slacked off during those last few weeks, I still prepared an upcoming press release grid and wrote four press releases for the new company's PR team. And the CEO thanked me for being "super-professional" about the whole thing.
I guess what I'm saying is if you're an "all-in" person when it comes to work, then I know from personal experience that all other areas of your life will suffer. I can remember falling asleep at 7:30 at night while playing Monopoly with The Boy.
So life is all about priorities. And after that last time I got laid off, Tommy and I took a good hard look at our finances and talked about our priorities. During these critical years with The Boy, we both decided that he had to be the priority. And I must say it was definitely the right decision...for us (me being the "all in at work" type of person that I am).
So what if I don't shop at Nieman's or even Dillard's (very often)? So what if I don't drive a Mercedes? So what if I don't wear $300 shoes? I get to travel quite a bit, spend lots of time with The Boy during this very critical time, pay close attention to my health, and spend time with Tommy when he is home.
Yes...for us...me being "all in" at home is definitely better than me being "all in" at work.
So...when you work, are you "all in" or are you able to leave it at the office and take full advantage of your time away from your desk?
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Comments
I have the hardest time leaving work behind when I go home. It's an occupational hazard though. As a teacher, my work is with me almost everywhere I go.
Posted by: Janet on April 16, 2006 11:05 PM
I work to pay the mortgage and buy groceries, not for a Mercedes or $300 shoes, and I do leave it at the office and focus on my girls when I'm home. But then I'm only a legal secretary. :)
Posted by: Paula on April 16, 2006 10:35 PM
I know that type. I am learning what balance of life really is, unfortunately, maybe a little too late for some things in life.
Posted by: DrinkJack ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://thepeachpit.net/nav-commenters.gif)
on April 16, 2006 08:59 PM
I've learned the hard way one must have balance in their life. I'm an "all-in" type of person, but I've allowed it to destroy my life.
I wish I had been smart enough, attractive enough, I don't know what enough in order to have been able to make my career as a stay at home mom. I'm so tired of working.
Good for you for recognising what was best for you.
Posted by: Scully on April 16, 2006 06:07 PM
