But I will give it a try…enjoy.

“Sir…um…I think you’re gonna have to make a decision on Afghanistan.  I’m really feeling the heat in those daily briefings.”

“Shut up, Robert.  Just do your job.  I have about 12 more meetings to go before my erudite self can truly understand the issues and make the right decision.”

“But sir…we have those guys out there…losing compatriots every day…morale is low…for the love of God please make a decision. “

“Yes, Barack.  Please make a decision.  Not for you or for me, but for all those brave souls out there fighting for America.”

“Who the hell let him in here?”

“Just trying to help, Mr. President.  Also, I have some of the latest numbers on health care and your approval ratings on my white board Fox News gave me if you’d like to go over them later.”

“Eric, can you do something about him?”

“No sir, I’m afraid I can’t.  I haven’t been able to find a way to legally deny his access rights to the oval office.  The prior administration was good.  Damn good.”

“Crap.”

“While we’re at it sir, the decision to hold the 9/11 terrorists’ trials in NYC hasn’t gone over so well.”

“Then why the hell did you tell me it was the right thing to do?”

“Sir…I thought we were trying to fundamentally transform America.”

“I know I said that, but what I said and what I meant aren’t necessarily the same thing.  Didn’t we go over this?”

“Yes, sir.  We did.  My bad.  But I don’t think there’s any way to go back now.  You promised to close down G’tmo.”

“Crap.”

“Um….Mr. President?  The latest Rasmussen poll on your health care reform is not looking good.  I really think you need to look at my white board.”

“Karl!  I’m not going to tell you again!  I and my team have read many more books and know much more than the common folk could ever hope to know.  We know what’s good for them, so we will make these health care decisions for them.  They are way too ignorant to know what’s good for them.”

“Wow.  You really think you can get all this stuff through before 2010?”

“Or 2012?”

“Yes, we can!”

“Um…sir….some secret emails were just released that prove the whole global warming thing was a scam.”

“I don’t wanna hear it, Robert.  Just handle it.  We have got to get cap and tax through before 2010. We have to make sure people are so desperate to pay their energy bills…and any bills that relate to goods or services from companies that provide goods or services that use energy to do business….that they become completely dependent on government aid by 2010.  Have you looked at Karl’s white board?”

“That’s right.  I knew you were listening.”

“Shut up, Karl.”

“Sir, I’m sorry….the press got wind of our plan to ensure the nation’s school children are in line with you.”

“What?  How did that happen?”

“Sorry, sir.  Must be another security deal.  I’ll get the staff working on the re-write we promised.”

“It’s hard, but I’m keepin’ it cool.  See how cool I am in these shades?”

“Come on, Van.  You didn’t really say all those things on tape did you?  You’re just playin’ with me.”

“Of course I did.  Hell, I even said them to you when we met.  Don’t you remember?

“What?”

“You didn’t really sign that truther thing, did you?”

“Oh, you know I did.  Who didn’t?”

“Crap.”

“Hillary, do you think a billboard with this picture will help me get over the Van hurdle?”

“No, Barack.  I don’t think so.”

“How about this picture?  It shows I’ve got it all under control.  Maybe then they’ll overlook my Czars’ indiscretions and buy off on our takeover of health care.  Right?”

“Um…sorry.  I don’t think so.  There’s no hope for you now.”

“Mr. President.  I just want to make damn sure you don’t come into our chamber and get rid of the public option.  I WILL NOT ALLOW A BILL TO PASS WITHOUT IT!!”

“Shut up, Nancy.  I have enough problems to deal with.  You’ll take what you get and be glad you got it.”

“Hey, Bob.  Is there any way we can make our new jobs claims believable?  Any way at all?”

“Um…no, I don’t think so, sir.”

“Dear Lord, please don’t let Fox find out any more details on my Czars’ questionable backgrounds.”

Meanwhile at the daily briefing…”Hey Robert.  Do you have any comments on the new YouTube videos that came out today showing…”

“Wait, wait, wait guys.  I told you I plead the 5th on any video evidence regarding unvetted high ranking government officials making questionable comments on video or any controversial petitions or documents they may or may not have signed and whether or not they knew what the documents said when they signed them.”

Meanwhile, back in the oval office…

“Mr. President, I’ve got my white board in the car with all the latest poll numbers and details on the stimulus package.  I’d be happy to go get it and review them with you.”

“Shut up, Karl.”

1.  “End of life counseling”

2.  “9 trillion dollar deficit”

3.  “Age-based rationing”

4.  “The average unemployment will be 9.3 percent in 2009 and 9.8 percent in 2010″

5.  “Unsolicited political emails”

6.  “Elite team of interrogators”

Is it just me, or do you get the feeling the administration is trying so hard to make it seem like they are doing things that they aren’t really getting anything useful done and are making things worse instead of better?

To be fair, I’ve tried to read and/or watch as many of the many appearances and speeches by Obama and Pelosi and others on the health care thing.  Befor I do my list, I thought I’d point out that they can pass and sign whatever the hell they want to…they have the votes….but those votes are eroding day by day.  It seems even their own party members don’t agree with direction the bills are headed.  Having said that, here are my thoughts:

1.  If you pay for 2/3 of universal care (because let’s be honest if there is a public option that’s what it will become) by cutting services/care/tests-whatever for Medicare patients….how will this impact our elderly?  What procedures will be seen as “waste” for older patients?  Think about it.  It’s scary.

2.  Why not fix what we have first?  They keep talking about how the current programs need to be fixed.  How about we fix those first, stop allowing fraud, pay providers what the services are worth – and on time, make sure those that actually can’t afford insurance (vs. those that choose not to buy it because they want a new car or whatever) are on Medicaid, put tort reform in place, mandate that those who can afford insurance purchase it, and then see what we have?

3.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t like the idea of some bureaucrat  (doctor or no) deciding (for example) what type of allergy meds I’m allowed to have (whether they work for me or not) without ever having met me.  But I DO like the idea of making sure you can buy insurance, regardless of pre-existing conditions and putting caps on premiums.

4.  I think a person should have to provide proof of citizenship to access either current or future health care programs.  And I think this should include emergency rooms and clinics.  I know I’m a hard-ass on this..but if we can’t afford to care for our own citizens, why should we put illegals at the head of the line in our ERs?

5.  I think we should have local medicaid clinics in the inner cities to provide needed primary care for poor families vs. them not having access to a family doctor and clogging up our emergency rooms because they have no place else to go.  In the long run, I think providing preventative and non-emergency care in this manner will save tax payer dollars.

6.  I think a public option will lead to the destruction of our health care system.  We will become Canada, France, Britain and Germany.  Last time I checked….I didn’t see any U.S. Citizens going up to Canada to be enrolled in their system for “better care”.  Rather, I think we should give every family a set tax credit and let them go to the free market for insurance; if everyone has the same amount to pay, then insurance companies and health care providers will compete for those dollars and this will lead to better coverage and care for everyone…not just those that can afford to go outside a public system and pay for everything themselves like they do in France.

1.  The Boy is back from debate camp.  Two weeks in a college dorm just north of us.  We got to see him half way through for lunch.  He says he had fun and placed respectably in the tournament.

2.  I really don’t know what to think of Sarah Palin resigning.  Other than to say I wonder why it’s okay to make viscious attacks against her kids, but kids of other elected officials are stricly off-limits.  Funny, that…

3.  On the world stage.  Believe me, I thought I would NEVER in a million years say this…I would feel much safer if Hillary were president.  I just get the feeling that Obama may be just making it up as he goes along and does not have a clue.  But time will tell.

4.  How much longer until we admit that Obama has worsened the economic situation he “inherited” instead of looking back and blaming all the money-spending on Bush.  Bush is no longer in charge…at least I thought he wasn’t.  Maybe I’m wrong….

5.  I find it funny that the vast majority of cars which qualify for purchase under the “clunkers for cash” program are foreign, while the government bought GM.  Does this make sense to you?  It’s like they’re just giving our money away to our new competition, since we all (well, all of us that actually pay taxes) now own a piece of GM.

6.  Our garden got hammered by the tornado a few weeks ago.  But the cucumbers survived and are producing, and we have a couple tomatoes.  The peppers keep having blooms which fall off and never amount to anything.  Maybe it was all too much for them…that, or all the weeding I do around them.  Can’t stand weeds.  Hate ‘em.

7.  I had the house to myself for almost five days last week while The Boy was at camp and the spouse was flying.  Very peaceful, those few days alone.  But also (surprisingly) busy.  Lots of weeds to pull, don’tcha know.

8.  The Boy turns 15 this week, and he also starts driving this week (being parent-taught by The Spouse).  One more year and he’ll be able to drive himself to and from tournaments!

9.  I’ve been counting calories.  Each and every one I eat or drink.  This is a tedious, time intensive process at times.  But….I’ve lost about 12 pounds give or take in the last three months.  Slow and steady wins the race!

10.  The best part about counting calories is I don’t have to totally deny myself anything…including fast food and alcohol…I just have to plan for it.

11.  It’s surprising how burning many calories working out each week will allow you to eat more calories and still lose weight.

12.  I know 4,200 calories sounds like a lot to have to burn, but did you know if you clean your house all in one day you will burn many, many, many calories?  And then…you will get to have wine after cleaning!

13.  Did I say I was worried about international events and the economy?

14.  Did I mention that I don’t want to be forced to put mercury-laden “green” light bulbs in my house?

15.  Well I am and I don’t.

16.  Did anyone notice that unemployment is higher than it’s been in more than two decades?  I’m just sayin’….does it make sense to throw good money after bad vs. letting the economy correct itself like it’s supposed to?

That is all.

You know summer has arrived in Texas if:

1.  The calendar says it is (that’s from Tommy).

2.  The pool is 94 degrees before noon.

3.  On weekends, while in the pool…you can smell various combos of beef, pork and chicken cooking outside in some form of smoking or grilling.

4.  If you have a teenager, it’s not unusual for them to sleep until noon (okay, this applies to anywhere I know…but most days The Boy isn’t even up before I go to the gym).

5.  Most days, the max dolling up you do is waterproof eyeliner and lip gloss…anything else would slide down your face with the sweat.

6.  You have WAY more hair up days than hair down days.

P.S.  God, it’s hot.

That is all.

1.  I think Cheney kicked Obama’s ass on that national security debate/speech thing they had the other day.  I’m sorry but that whole “once the world sees what good people we have become again under my watch they won’t hate us anymore”…..thing…..for me…..was weak pandering.  People whose stated goal is the death of americans don’t care and well-meaning words will not change their minds or mission.

2.  Is it just me, or is N. Korea acting like a spoiled toddler which never experiences any real consequences for its actions, so it continues to do the same thing over and over again with little or no negative impact to itself.  Seriously…our reaction is “We’re gonna tell the U.N. on you.”  Really?

3.  It worries me that while N. Korea is clearly arming itself, our President is intent on unilaterally disarming the U.S. stockpile of similar type weapons and he is also decreasing funding for our missile defenses.

4.  While I’m sure Ms. Sodamayor is well-schooled on the law and has vast experience in dealing with many different types of court cases, it worries me she has publicly stated that it’s the role of judges to make policy.  Also, her prejudicial comments about white males concern me – not so much that she said them but that they are being condoned and accepted by the far left – all in the name of “change”.  There are many other females and other hispanics that are also qualified for the bench, yet Obama has chosen to overlook these highly controversial and divisive comments/positions to appease (it seems to me) a group that he needs to help get him re-elected in 2012.  I really hope they bring that Ricci guy in to talk about the fact that 13 people did not get a promotion in the fire department because only one minority was able to pass the test.

5.  Iran just deployed several war ships to international waters.  I guess now that they realize nothing but a letter from the U.N. telling them they’ve been a bad country will result, they feel free to act as provocatively as they wish.

6.  Recently, Obama stated on CNBC that America is out of money.  I expect there will be many new taxes introduced as soon as Franken brings the senate to a fillibuster-proof majority.  I think anybody that currently (actually) pays taxes and does not receive welfare tax rebate checks instead should seriously be looking at their finances to figure out how much more money they can afford to pay once the rates are adjusted up to support Obama’s massive government spending programs.  And let’s all pray that cap and trade never passes or that will mean thousands more cost per year to heat and cool our homes and fill our tanks and pay for any goods that require energy to be made, packaged and transported.

P.S.  No, I’m not happy with any of it.  But once again I refuse to stoop to the low level that those on the other side (and a few on mine) have when they resort to name-calling and personal attacks.  None of that is ever helpful if you’re interested in having a real discussion about why you agree or disagree on decisions, policies, and impacts.

That’s good anyway.  Just sitting here watching the Congress unravel and the government take over the means of production for autos, and also take control of our financial industry.

I find myself drinking more these days……

On the upside, we’ve got beautiful weather this week and The Boy will soon be considered a sophomore and on his way to Debate camp mid-June.

P.S.  I don’t wanna drive a crappy small car that’s WAY expensive and has no acceleration that puts me at MUCH greater risk of injury in an accident.  DO….NOT…..WANNA!!!!!

1.  Mother’s day breakfast of choice – check.

2. Mother’s day new bath stuff – check.

3.  Mother’s day funny cards – check.

4.  Mother’s day hugs from The Spouse and The Boy – check.

5.  Mother’s day bath – check.

6.  Mother’s day lunch cooked by The Boy – check.

7.  Mother’s day workout – check.

8.  Mother’s day nap – check.

9.  Mother’s day dinner cooked by The Boy and The Spouse – check.

10.  Mother’s day wine – check.

I’d say they completed the mission, right?

Way to name an Act, Republicans.  That’s right, it’s the:

Keep Terrorists Out of America Act

I actually laughed when I heard the title.  I knew they would come up with some legislation that would cover a strong disagreement with the idea some moves by the new administration could possibly bring known terrorists caught on the battlefield shooting at our guys into our communities and living off taxpayer money in the form of welfare checks and other services.  Here’s the relevant language pulled from a post on John Boehner’s site:

The proposal mandate[s] that no prisoner could be released or transferred into the United States unless the destination state’s governor and legislature sign off on the plan, a source familiar with the plan told AFP on condition of anonymity.

It would require Obama to give lawmakers the name of the detainee and their proposed destination in the United States, where the prisoners enjoy more legal protections than on the US military base in Cuba, the source said.

Sounds like a good idea to me.  I mean, wouldn’t we want a plan and clear communication before something like that is done?  However, it’s clear even to me they named it that to grab headlines for a few days.  If that’s what they’re going for…coverage of the issue…I think it was a very good PR move.

It might be hard to vote against an act named that given that it appears to include common sense measures to protect all of us.  But then again, one never knows why some people vote the way they do…..